can a taurus change their mind once its been made up

topic posted Fri, July 4, 2008 - 5:01 PM by  offlinechristoff
Hi all good taurus people,

i'm a cancer with virgo rising, aries moon and recently hurt my taurus gf enough for her to break up and say she never wants to speak to me again. I betrayed her trust. We had an amazing connection, especially when we went hiking in nature or cooked together. I want to write her a letter and be honest but suspect that this will just come across as desperate and drive her further away.

Are there any taureans out there who have changed their mind for a partner after they've had their trust betrayed?

Thanks in advance,

Christoff
posted by:
christoff
Australia
  • Tough one. Can you be more specific about how you betrayed her trust?

    In general, I can change my mind, but it's not particularly likely and it doesn't happen quickly. W/respect to situations like you (however vaguely) describe above, I'm talking a matter of several months or years. It also depends on how long you were together -- people fall for me almost instantly (if they're going to at all) but it takes me (again) months or years to catch up & really feel embedded in a relationship. So in the beginning (the 1st couple of years maybe) it doesn't take that much for me to back out.
    • We got to know each other as friends for a year and fell in love (and even dreamt about each other regularly and shared our dreams), before I finally made a move. So our bond was pretty deep.

      How I betrayed her trust: we had made a pact not to push it further if things got too intense. We had an argument and I pushed, and kept pushing for some stupid and definitely selfish reason. She hung up on me, I then called her back several times trying to force the issue. I think as soon as she saw that aspect of me come out, she made up her mind on the spot that I was an inconsiderate jerk and wanted nothing more to do with it. I am selfish but i'm working on it. But from what I have read so far it seems that I just have to let this one go.
      • Sounds like U just freaked her out. Not as big a deal as if U cheated on her or stole from her something like that. My advice: give it a little time, see how you/she feel once you have spent some time apart.
        • Yeah, time passes differently in the Taurus universe. If you sit back and take a week, a month, maybe even ore to really think things out, then write a very well thought out (not email!) letter regarding how you feel (if she's into astrology at all she should know Cancer's are SENSITIVE and can be prone to emotional outbursts that make perfect sense to them at the time but come across as childish and bordering disrespectful to a Taurus.

          If you decide to listen to me make the letter special, not just in the writing (which will always be the most important part) but the kind of paper and envelope you use. Get the lease prefab looking stuff possible, maybe a nice parchment from a paper store and an interesting envelope. The more hand made you can go the better. Hand deliver ninja style.

          It can be funny or serious, just make sure its consistent with who you are, make it something that won't sound whiny and be totally prepared for it not to work and be ok with that. It could totally be destroyed and the more you push the less likely anything will ever happen again so make your one play and leave it at that unless she responds in some fashion of course. The time thing is literally more of a chance to let them cool down and think things over as well. If that process gets interrupted too early while the bull is still bearing down horns out then you reset the clock each time if not get the clock crushed.
          • Honestly, Rayn, you sound so much like me, it hurts. You would think we were born on the same day or something ;)
            A lovely letter can melt my heart like very little else. Accompanied by my favorite flower, even better. But time is HUGE! No matter how fabulous and wonderful a person is, if they don't give me enough time to search out my true feelings, they will get the default- a deep annoyance and desire to flee. I am a softie, and a sucker for anyone who is genuinely learning a big lesson. It sounds like you are doing just that, Christoff, and also as if there were much bigger mistakes that you could have made. I would encourage you to do just what Rayn said, keeping in mind that you can lead a bull to water, just like a horse (well, actually, you have to let the bull think it's their idea to go to the water in the first place), but you can't make 'em take that first sip.
          • Rayn your words meant a lot. I've hurt her before a couple of times in the same way, so while she follows astrology in a big way, I think the issue here is that even though I care for her so much, I cared for myself even more.

            Re: using nice paper- absolutely, I will use a fountain pen (we both have a love of good quality pens) and some high quality parchment and envelope.

            "Hand deliver ninja style."- lol I used to be a ninja, unfortunately I will have to mail it to her since I don't want it to come across as stalker-ish and she has been stalked in the past. In fact this is a concern since as you said I will have to give it time, its been a month so far and I think she'll need at least two more, just hoping she won't have moved by the time I send it.
  • 1. If it was that bad, you're screwed.
    2. If it wasn't THAT bad, you can't push her into changing her mind. Best you can do is stay in the background, give her little hints of things to think about. Like a phone message once per two weeks saying something like, "I'd like to talk about what happened. I hope you will meet with me some time." In order to change our minds, we need an offer and we need lots of time to think on it. Hints, cajoling is the only way to bring us around if you're lucky.
    3. You probably should try to avoid doing things that make people dump you on the spot, if they mean that much to you. (not trying to be snotty, just Captain Obvious).
    • Captain Obvious to the rescue! Thanks Lexie.
      • It all depends... if she is 100% sure that shes done with u... then shes done with u! she wont change her mind... but if her heart is still in it then u have a chance.
        • I am a taurus woman and my capricorn bf screwed up a lot. I told him we were done (and I did mean it). We just went for dinner two weeks ago and the conversation happened in February. He gave me the time I needed because I never really hated him, just knew we didn't work out in a relationship well enough. give it time (like captain obvious suggests) and you will be able to get some face time to work it out.
          • nice one, thanks Dina.
            Did you also tell him that you never wanted to speak to him again or did you just break it off?
            • He started getting distant, I would call, he'd say let me call you back in 10 mins and then he'd call the following week. That game got old pretty quick, so I called once a week for 3 weeks then we just stopped talking (February). He's stubborn by trait too so neither of us went to pick up the phone to call. It wasn't until June that he said hi in an IM. I wouldn't have reached out even then, but he brought the olive branch first and I wouldn't think of not accepting it because it isn't in my nature to blow someone off when someone is being sincere.
              We have had couple of sleepovers in the last few weeks, so after the time it did work. You originally ask "after trust has been betrayed" - but I have forgiven folks when they have lied/betrayed my trust, but that did take a lot of work to win me back over enough to not have any anger or resentment towards the person. If I didn't get through my hurt and anger with him, we would barely be talking in IM.

              Now I am curious, what did you do to make her angry?
              • umm - i missed your "what I did" post towards the top. DOH!
                I didn't realize it was pushing your point of view and that is something my ex would do that drove me nuts! I enjoy hearing opinions of others (because it is interesting to hear where someone is coming from) but when it came to I am right and you are wrong type of tones, I wouldn't be as open to hear his opinion because I now need to defend mine. Just because I didn't agree with him didn't mean that I was wrong in my perspective, but he would try his hardest to convince me that my way wasn't the correct way. I would try to change the topic, he'd keep pressing the issue and I would not filter any of my opinions at that point and let him know why I won't agree with his point of view (yeah, I'd add a log to the fire). When he did continue (because he just wouldn't get it) I would walk away or tell him to leave because I really have nothing to say. He knew I needed some time (a few hours to a couple of days, depending on how it ended).


                • Well.. a rule of them when involved with a Taurus (male/female) is once you've betrayed them.. it is extremely challenging to regain their trust and loyalty.
                  These are characteristics that are held close and personal to all types..
                  I for one rarely give someone another chance if the Taurus loyalty is crossed in a bad manner..
  • I am a taurus and I would say no, not really. If you have brought another woman into the mix somehow then it is near impossible to change her mind. If she found out you have asked so many people to help you get her back, via this website, she would dig that atleast.
    good luck

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