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Taurus' and "Moving on"... in relationships

topic posted Tue, May 13, 2008 - 5:20 PM by  Unsubscribed
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Hey everyone, I'm one of those Virgo's (Virgo sun, merc, mars, scorpio moon, Leo venus, pisces Asc) who loves her Taurus'. Love 'em. I just have one question:

Is it hard for Taurus' to "move on" from romantic relationships?

I only ask because, well, my ex bf is a Taurus (Taurus sun, mer, mars, Aquarius moon, gemini venus and Asc) and after a horribly complicated ending, he has asked me to meet up with him for lunch or "chocolate milk and caramels" (creepy , I know). He's also emailed me numerous times throughout the breakup asking to be my freind, etc. So I've finally given in, as I am interested in having a conversation and seeing him (it's been 7 months). BUT This concernes me- as much as I love Taurus', and all that jazz, I need to know from you if maybe his heart is still in "the past"? I have moved on. That's why I agreed.

Do you as Taurus' believe in freindships after relationships?
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  • I believe in friendships after relationships. My oldest friend in the universe was my first kiss, in junior high. Most of my significant relationships have ended in friendship, and many of the men whom I have dated casually became friends if they weren't so before we dated.
    Conversely, I do not believe in friendships after relationships if there is any level of obsession on either part, or if I have been horribly mistreated. It can be hard to move on, or it can be very easy for me, depending on the circumstances. I probably didn't answer your question, Jen. What does your intuition say is the case? Follow your instincts on this one.
  • It is possible to be just friends, but most likely he is wanting to see if he can set off a spark of interest and rekindle what he had with you. He will really be pouring on the charm too.
    Your Pisces Ascendant and Scorpio moon can be quite intriguing, so it may be hard to get away from the spell.

    He may not feel that it is completely over, so when you meet him you must be blunt, even though you are concerned with hurting his feelings. Then he can wake up from the daze.
  • Q
    Q
    offline 0
    I'm confused by my Taurus exbf (I'm a Virgo). We broke up over 2 months ago. I said something that made him angry, no make that REALLY angry. He says he accepts it was a misunderstanding but doesn't seem to be able to let it go (seems to be licking his wounds at times, completely committed to us being done at others). He says he still wants to be friends. His reasons for 'why' to be friends are partly because our kids are good friends (we're both divorced), partly to bring closure to the romantic partof our relationship, partly because he admires many of my qualities, and partly for reasons he hasn’t really figured out yet.

    We see each other about every 2 weeks through school functions and mutual friends say he tells them he's committed to moving. I don't see that based on how I sometimes catch him watching me and always wanting to be close to me. He was really hurt during his divorce and angry when we broke up. I thought Taurus men, when they're done, they're done. Any thoughts on what's behind his wanting to be friends (just to avoid drama at school?) It's not an issue of him really having loved me... that's not in question and I know he's still struggling with that.
    • Whoa.. this was a hard post to read as I'm going through this with my Aries ex-bf/lover.
      I'm the Taurus who wants us to work on being friends, but my heart still has unresolved romantic feelings towards him that
      vacillate frequently. A few weeks ago we had a 2hr. phone chat about some issues he had been going through.
      And recently he joined me for my b.day dinner a few nights ago.
      This was the first time we had hung out in about 5mos. and he still makes my heart skip... sigh

      It's been hard to get a moment to speak with him about my feelings in all of this as he likes to rattle on in conversation for a while.
      By then, I'm overwhelmed with his thoughts, that I no longer feel up to discussing this with him.

      I feel it's simply a means of regaining trust between us. We've expressed to that we care, love and support each other.
      It's up to my heart/mind to work through this as I do want him to be part of my life at least as a dear friend..whatever happens later..
      I'll let the powers that be to guide us..



      • Unsu...
         
        Okay, so the update (like I said I would post):

        Never called me that weekend at all. In fact, he said he would, and didn't.

        Me guesses he's a freak.

        And maybe I'm in luck, he is over me! Thank fucking GOD
        • Unsu...
           
          UPDATE ALSO!!!


          yaaa spent time with mine... it was a relaxing time. we talked throughout the whole time together. no akward moments at all... but for some reason he lovesssssss to talk about the girls he talks to but has to mention how they are no good. but i am friends with his best friends girlfriend who reports to me... that when he found out recently that i was talking to some one he was like "WHAT? are you serious???!" lol like why does he put up a front? he likes me but doesnt show it.

          My opinion i just think hes afraid to like me so he spends time with girls he knows wont progress into something kuz he know he wont get hurt that way.

          But ive been to a psychic 2x and both times shes reffered to a boy (him) and saying how its gunna develop slowly... and its gunna start off as friends and develop into a love. and to just give it time. Which i am. I dont call him... but i'll randomly call him to see if he wants to hangout... and he never turns down =]


          but knowing that he likes me... makes me not stress over him soo much sooo i just keep doing my thing and enjoy the single life by also dating guys i know that wont go anywhere. =]
          • Yeah. I'll talk about other guys to someone i like and mention how I am not all that into them...basically just to get him to step up and claim me so I won't have to associate with those 'other guys' ever again.

            Sort of petty, but it's just trying to bait them with a gentle spike of jealousy so they get off their butts and do what I want them to do.

            <.<

            No, it never works. LOL
          • If a girl I'm interested in but unsure if they feel the same or if they're just being friendly ever talks about dating other guys around me, by default I just think of it as 'Oh, I guess they aren't interested in me. C'est la vie. Oh well, I still have made a friend.' (And then as befits the topic "move on" as far as that person being a love interest goes. Do I like being this way? Not really) With Virgo's this is very common because I get along with just about every Virgo I meet. I can honestly say right now that if any of the ones I've met have every tried to pique me romantically they are waaaaay to subtle.

            I'm kinda jealous of Virgo's energy and drive. Ok, not kinda, I'm jealous. The dude probably adores or adored you but thinks he can't keep up with you which is why he'd second guess anything. We like our solitude though and sometimes free spirits can be too much for us in one of many ways. We feel like since they always want to be out and about and we have our moments where thats cool but then we want to stay indoors while they still want to play, at least in my case, I feel guilty I can't keep up and get depressed. Its also been my experience that people always on the go can see my need to stay indoors and recharge as lazy or a weakness when I'm probably more emotionally exhausted than physically and need some time to recharge. But thats also a trait of being an introvert. (You can be outgoing and friendly and talkative and still be an introvert.)
        • Jen, even if he calls again thats messed up. Either he did it on purpose so you'd get pissed and make the decision easy on him by closing the door or something happened that caused him to forget entirely until probably too late and now he's hiding with a giant ball of guilt in his stomach and to scared to call you.
          • Well Jen, if he does decide to call, you could relate to him that you opened up your heart to the possibility of friendships and that, as friends, he didn't have the decensy to call, e-mail, or to even send a smoke signal.

            You might convey to him that you are looking for reliability (something every Taurus understands) trust and respect in a friendship and that his actions prove that it isn't really that important to him.

            Unless the guy got abducted by space aliens I don't see what would have prevented him from closing the deal and meeting you, like his numerous e-mails communicated.

            There's lots of other guys and you gave him a chance. His loss.
            • Unsu...
               
              First off, thanks for your responses. You guys are pretty wicked cool for listening to, and helping me with this confusing ordeal. Taurus' are awesome advice givers! Is what I'll tell people.

              Yeah...he did end up messaging me the next day "sorry I didn't call last night, turns out this weekend was busier than I thought it would be"...

              Then proceeded to not call me the rest of the weekend, or email me after that. The whole thing seems kinda flaky/ fishy. It surprises me immensely, as he was always adamant about how I was a great person, our friendship being so important, blah blah blah....

              It's so sad too as this is basically the first time I've ever decided to swallow my pride and revengeful ways and open up to the possibility of friendship and forgiveness after a breakup (my moons in scorpio). And look what happens! Makes me laugh. He doesn't sound very Taurus at all!

              So I'm officially am revoking the friendship offer, unless his excuse is...hmm...hit by car? Dead? Abducted by aliens?

              I'm onto greener pastures now.

              Thanks again you guys!
              • I recently quasi-dated a guy for a few weeks. The whole time, he talked about how important it was to him to say what he means, and how much he hated flaky people, etc., etc..
                Of course, the one time that I tried to arrange something less-spontaneous, he didn't return my phone call asking him if he was still interested. He didn't call the day we were supposed to get together, or the next day.
                The day after that, I saw him and he tried to apologize (rather half-heartedly, actually). I told him, "you got one chance." He looked surprised and relieved, and I said, "yes, that was it."
                Then he looked all dejected, and I told him that I don't deal with flakes, and he pouted. He is younger than me, and I hope that he learned something from this, but age doesn't seem to have much to do with a person's ability to be forthcoming.
                Either way, I am glad that I have reached a point in my life where I can value my own time enough not to spend it chasing after people who don't respect it. I do like to give people a chance, though. It sounds like you're pretty clear about that, too, Jen.
                Better luck next time, for both of us, right?
    • Unsu...
       
      The thing about Taurus, is for better or worse they want to get with you for the long haul. Thats why, in some cases, the mating dance with the Taurus is like AGES! That said, they despise leaving a 'good thing' (the person), whom they spent ages unearthing (though sometimes its the other party that has to be persistent).

      In the event of a break-up, the best thing is remain friends LONG TERM. Taurus is loyal and caring and therefore great friends. In the short term, to use a dog fight analogy, go for separation. Don't push a losing equation by staying in the game. Game's over, bug out. Else one of you is going to get shot down.

      He/she may not like the separation bit, but be a man (or strap on a pair) and do it. Reluctantly they'll acknowledge, brood and then walk over shake your hand.
      • Unsu...
         
        It's almost been a year- and yet my ex Taurus lover has not stop harassing me. That's it- I'm going to punch him in the face. It will be grand.

        It's been a series of ditching me and emailing me, and ditching me, and emailing me, and his friends coming on to me, and surrogate date invitations...grrr!

        How do I get him out of my life!!!
        • Unsu...
           
          I haven't responded to any of his emails btw. And bumping into his horny friends have been at most coincidental. He hurt me pretty bad, and I gave him a chance, and he blew it. But the thought of starting another fight/ confrontation makes me weary. I can't seem to escape him, or his friends, for gods sake I have to work with one of them. His Mars is Taurus... maybe the momentum is hard to stop? Anyways, I'm running out of patience. I just want this to be resolved! And I don't want to have to wear a scarf and sunglasses when I go walking in his neighborhood!
        • Unsu...
           

          Re: Taurus' and "Moving on"... in relationships

          Wed, June 25, 2008 - 12:40 PM
          his friends coming on to you.... weird im in the same situation with my taurus... why do you think that is???
          • Unsu...
             

            Re: Taurus' and "Moving on"... in relationships

            Sat, June 28, 2008 - 11:52 AM
            Hahah, maybe his friends saw the "photos", lol
            • Thats funny...

              getting back to the subject, it seems whoever has the idea of moving on has the idea of being friends, the person who didn't want to breakup wants to hang on to something, really the best way i found is that if a person is ready to move on and wnats to be friends with someone, is to get them interested in someone sles, and then help it along, then the friend transition is easier...

              actually a girlfirend in college told me her friend was interested in me and introduced us, so the friend transition was easier...personally I am not a possessive person, tho i like depth in a relation, it also depends on who you go out with...
              and who you give your self away to...

              anyway jen, don't hide, its one thing to avoid someone, tho don't respond to anything negative, and that includes phone calls etc that say lets meet,,,anyone that fucks with your time is being manipulative,,,and they are looking for a response, or to get some rise out of you...so, don't respond, let go, and enjoy your life, you deserve fulfillment...

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